Super Beard 2011

Greetings! Welcome to post one of this two part Super Sunday blog extravaganza. Many have chosen their predicted winning team in tonight's 6:30 match up, and now I will do the same. My prediction will be obtained in a manner most sports writers are unfamiliar with: I will use science - I will strictly athletically interpret the beards.

As you know from last week's FEAR THE BEARD post, Ben Roethlisberger is a beard master, a force feared throughout the NFL. Ben has cultivated his facial growth throughout the season and will unleash it's full power against The Pack tonight. We all know Big Ben brings a certain greatness to the pitch - will it be enough to offset the team whose very essence is Greatness?

Awesome: (Adjective) The first word that comes to mind when looking at Ben's beard.

Let's switch gears to Green Bay quarterback Aaron Rodgers. This post-season, Rodgers grew a mighty monument to his testosterone. With this power, Rodgers was able to lead The Pack into the playoffs as the NFC's last wildcard team. Aaron clearly aspired for nothing less than a Super Bowl appearance: easily defeating the Eagles, Falcons, and Bears, all while not exerting his full power. With these wins, I surely thought that Rodgers would triumph over the Steelers in tonight's game. It seems Rodgers has gone and done something rather foolish: he removed the source of all his powers - he shaved his beard. Will the rest of the Packers be able to combine their beards to throw down the Steel Curtain?

Reporter: Aaron, why did you shave your beard?
Rodgers: I don't think I can handle the pressures that come with a Super Bowl victory.
Reporter: Are you saying you want to lose?
Rodgers: Yes.

Unfortunately for Packers fans, the beard of Brett Keisel outweighs the entire collection of Green Bay beards. Brett "The Kraken" Keisel, unleased the full power of his beard this season and I don't think anything or anyone will be able to stop it. That's it, there is nothing more to say.

Aaron Rodgers' reaction upon seeing Keisel's beard: We can't repel Beard-Power of that magnitude!!!

I did mention that this is post #1 in a two post series today, so now I'll say this: I dislike peas. Given my fiery hatred of the vegetable, there is no way that I will be watching this year's Super Bowl Halftime Show. I know most of you are probably thinking the same thing, so when the seconds expire on the second quarter check back to the B-W Blogway for some halftime entertainment.

In other news, my lawyers are in talks with the CC Times, regarding Patrick Stoetzer's intellectual theft of my previous post.